Slowly Learning that Life is Okay

6 years have gone by since your passing on July the tenth, 2013.

I miss you so much. I have a hard time going on without you.

Sometimes I sleep with my arms wrapped tightly around a pillow – pretending that it’s you as we snuggle up together on the couch. Can you feel me?

Sometimes I talk to you – to that photograph of you on the wall. Can you hear me?

Sometimes I catch glimpses of things that I think are you. When a hummingbird appears and hesitates before me for a brief moment – is that you? And did you send me that song I heard in the grocery store? Was that you?

When I have a good day I feel guilty. Guilty that I should feel any joy now that you’re not here to experience it. I wish you were here.

I remember you telling me not to be sad for you – not to grieve for you. I’ll try to keep that in mind. I know that if it were me that had died, I would have wanted you to live your life to the max still. So I’ll keep “stumbling away, slowly learning that life is okay.”

I love you.

– Papa

“So needless to say
I’m odds and ends
But I’ll be stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is okay”


Onwards we go…

Take On Me lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Songwriters: Pal Waaktaar / Morten Harket / Magne Furuholmen

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Bob Triggs says:

    Love and comfort to you, Stephen and Barbara. You are not alone.

  2. Ellie says:

    Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and feelings. I very much appreciate it <3

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