Slowly Learning that Life is Okay

6 years have gone by since your passing on July the tenth, 2013. I miss you so much. I have a hard time going on without you. Sometimes I sleep with my arms wrapped tightly around a pillow – pretending that it’s you as we snuggle up together on the couch. Can you feel me?…

Love is come again

Love is come again Since parting with Carlotta, sailing and boats have been almost non-existent for Barb and I. I just couldn’t look at a boat anymore. The energy wasn’t there for me. My mind would race with anxious thoughts whenever I pondered getting involved with a boat again – whether it be wooden or…

Where We Find You

Where We Find You …on the day that would have been your twentieth birthday. Returning; past the empty school bus stop, down the sloping highway and into the hamlet of Lund. Push through the doors of Nancy’s bakery for a blackberry cinnamon bun. Good friends are there to share a breakfast with. Cross up to…

The Heavy Load of Grief

Out of control! I’m careening down a big hill on my bicycle at full speed. There’s something wrong with my brakes and they won’t engage. I can’t stop. Inches to my left, a constant string of semi trailer trucks thunder past me. The noise is deafening. The wind they buffet sucks me towards them, then…

Any Other Way

Earworm. I’ve got a song stuck in my head, spiraling its way into my brain. The National: The System Only Dreams In Total Darkness. Twenty-four hours in my head. I wonder if: (a) I’m going crazy, or (b) there’s a reason for it. While ‘a’ is the most probable answer, I’m game to explore option…

Why I ride.

2017 Cycle of Life Tour Why I ride: Stephen Mohan Talks About the Cycle of Life Tour The 2017 Cycle of Life Tour will take 80 riders on an unforgettable cycle touring experience through the beautiful Saanich Inlet, Cowichan Valley and Gulf Islands. Cyclists will pedal nearly 200km of smooth country road to raise critical…

Imagining My Man

Another pile of days passes, another year without you. You were fifteen when I last saw you, smack in the prime of your teenage years. Today would be your nineteenth birthday. Nineteen. No longer a boy. A man. I miss you. I wish so badly that we were still together. I would give anything. I’m…

‘Hard’copy

I’ve completed the first draft! It’s feeling more than just a little surreal to be at this stage. Writing this book has certainly not been easy. What a rollercoaster ride of a journey. Sometimes the cart was cresting a climb, leaving me weightless and laughing. Other times the tracks led down dark tunnels of despair…

Putting Myself Out There

Hello Everyone, This winter I’ve been writing a book – a memoir. Until now, I’ve been holding it close to my chest. This was because I wasn’t sure if I could complete it. Also I didn’t want any outside pressure to get it done. It’s not quite finished yet, but I am closing in on…